A month ago I accepted a teaching job in Fort Wayne IN at South Side high school. I had been preparing to teach throughout college and now I was lucky enough to get a job right out of high school. I moved away from home and now was all alone in Fort Wayne getting ready to teach. I started a week after the students had started. That was really rough and have still been trying to control the students. I learned quickly that the students were at a low level and that they were not interested in learning. This discouraged me and has made me hate my job throughout the month I've been there. While the staff has been extraordinary I still have felt helpless.
The students:
The students were mostly at a low level and not ready for what they were learning. While this can be true at many schools this was compounded by the fact they would not behave. I learned strategies and all sorts of ideas of how to manage a classroom. While these can be helpful its totally different in the classroom. I was unable to control them and felt that the students who were behaving and wanted to learn were in an environment where they couldn't. I know they are high school students but the school is just not a place for a first time teacher to learn how to manage a classroom.
What I learned:
I learned more than anything that teaching is only for those who are extremely passionate. While I may have been able to teach and get better over the years I just didn't have the passion. There was no fire in me to get better and find the positives in the students. I know they all can learn but I was not able to give them that opportunity. I love kids and want them to learn and want to help but I was not prepared at all. This has lead me to considering quitting because I know another teacher would do better then me and could plan and grade and be able to be a teacher. I am not at a point where I feel confident enough to teach. I hope I can rediscover the passion but for now my journey as a teacher needs to end until I find it again. This is the toughest decision of my life but have prayed and know that I can honor God in another situation much more than in the one I am currently in.
Words of Advice:
If you are a future educator: DON'T LOSE THE PASSION! It is necessary to have passion to be able to be a good teacher. Every student can learn but know it takes time to get them to trust you. Set up an environment of learning in your classroom so that students know they have to behave.
